Quick hey from Pulaski
Just thought I'd throw on a note, since Tonya and Dad have been the sole providers recently...
The boys are good - very excited about Christmas, of course, so am I, and that's not really a new thing ;-) School isn't great, but I'll wind my way through the year. I have pretty much decided to go back to teaching, it's really where my heart is, and IR will have me back in Sept. if I want. I will be relocating back to Lowville, and the boys are jumping for joy at the prospect. This year won't be wasted at all - my classes will bump me up the pay scale, and I'm going to look into getting a Master's in Chem instead, I may be able to finish that easily enough in the time I have.
As Sono, Tonya and Mom know, I have also been having some doubts about getting married again. They seem to be getting worse rather than better, and this morning Ken and I agreed to put aside the idea of getting married until we are both sure that it's what we want. Ken knows he doesn't want to be a father at all, including a step-father, and although he believes his feelings won't get in the way of being there for the boys should they need him, I'm not sure I can reconcile that - knowing that what's best for me must also be best for my children plays heavily on my decisions...
We're also trying to work our way through some health issues Ken feels are plaguing him, so until we have done some healing, individually at the very least, together if we can, the plans for a July wedding are off - although I hope to see my male siblings soon, no matter what! I appreciate the support I've recieved this far from my female family, all of you have helped me learn the most about myself and what choices need to be made to be happy - I love all of you!
T
P.S. Clay, you little shit, I haven't heard form you in quite a while, though I hear my sisters have! Tried to call, but not sure if I have the right number... love ya butthead!
posted by Tyna @ 6:18 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
hey sweets.
in case you were looking for a reply, I'll take the bait :) You and I have talked about this, so this is not new news, but I'll put it out there again so you know that your sister is on your side (if a side is to be had) and so you know that irregardless of a side, I would always support whatever desicion you make.
I am a bit like our father so your likely to hear if I dont aggree with you too!!! hehehe, but I would still always have your back.
In this particular instance, it is really not about sides persay - but more about you being happy. Happy with your life, how you choose to lead it (aka going back to teaching) and whom you choose to lead it with. And in my personal opionion (yes it is like my you know what I do have rather large of both!!) -- who you do choose to spend your life with should at the very least have 2 qualities.
1) Want you. (sometimes I think matt wants me a little too often ..... but that is a man for you!!!!)
2) Want to be a father, if you want to be or are a mom.
End of story. Not to put to fine a point on it - but there you have it. Wanting you as you are, baggage, kids ..... meeks emotions & neurosis' and all. If he doesn't honey someone else will.
I am proud of you for standing up for what you want and for the boys and deciding to put the wedding on hold until if and when you can iron things out.
The holiday season hopefuly will still be joyfull and happy. And if you ever needed a place to crash during the week, or if the snow binds you to syrcause, please remember matt & I are closer than pulaski.
your sis. 1st, last and always.
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